Comfort Food, and why I hate that phrase.

I don't want this to come across as a clickbaity title, so to be clear I don't mind the phrase. I just despise the negative association it has.

It's a bit like the phrase "guilty pleasure" in the sense that we often feel obliged to add that when talking about something we like that, for some arbitrary reason, we feel shame for enjoying.  Why should I feel shame about the fish finger rolls I made myself for brunch today? Why did I feel like it's not a worthy thing to post, or even to talk about?

Was it the best looking plate of food I've ever made? Definitely not. Was it abso-fuckin-lutely amazing, and did I inhale them with the childish grin some of you will know I have when I'm eating happy food? Yes, again. 

The thing about food, is that we have a very deep, emotional connection with some foods. Rooted in our past, significant associations with people and times that meant a lot to us, and still do even if we don't always acknowledge them. If you don't have hay fever, that smell of freshly cut grass takes us back to the start of the summer as children, and the waft of a fragrance that reminds you a love once lost, or a dearly departed relative. Food brings the same connections to us. 

My connection to a "basic af" fish finger sandwich is that it takes me back to being a child, being round my Grandparents house, as I was every day, being bullied in the nicest way possible by my Grandmother, because I kept refusing her offer to make me food "because I looked hungry", and finally caving in to the relentless torrent of questions. It takes me right back to their front room, with that white piano against the wall covered in all sorts of knick-knacks and junk because it hadn't been used in years. The smell of the flowers from the perfectly manicured gardens, the smile on their faces when they joked together. I'm getting emotional just writing this out. I can see the scene so vividly, I'm almost there again. With them again.

This kind of connection. This is what food is all about. Creating joined memories between people who care about each other. 

So, why did I not want to take a picture of them and share this with my friends? I can fillet a fish and create goujons. I know how to panné too. I can make the bread, butter AND all the condiments. And, I know that I can make all of them better than the ones I bought from Tesco's on a whim. Perhaps, that would be acceptable to post? After all, people maybe expect a standard of quality from me these days? Perhaps this is all in my head?

Why the fuck should I have felt... something not quite as severe as shame about this? 

This sort of food is not just comforting. It's a time travel device, that can transport us across time and space to a happier time when we need it most. It's an unwritten signal to those around us that we needed this lift, whether we realised it or not at the time. 

Don't feel ashamed for your own comfort foods. Embrace them, and reconnect with them often.  And don't belittle someone for liking something unusual to you, you don't know their connections to it. 

Let people enjoy the things that make them smile.